


the roughage shines like a miracle

by thatgothlibrarian



Category: Original Work
Genre: Courting Rituals, Epistolary, F/F, Fic (Medium) - Emphasizing Sexual Content - Freeform, Gothic, Horror, Institutional Horror, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Older Characters, Other, Pregnant Sex, Sexual Content, Size Difference, Southern Gothic, Strangers to Lovers, Type: Gothic Horror, Type: Institutional Horror, [Fox Mulder Voice] I've seen it! [whips out Bigfoot drawing], gothic horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25428199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgothlibrarian/pseuds/thatgothlibrarian
Summary: Avery Dunning is a florist and gardener. At 40, she has a husband, a grown son, and another baby on the way. That is, until her husband dies of a heart-attack, leaving her alone. She decides to move out into the swampland far away from her stuffy Florida hometown and make her own way.Once there, Avery finds herself adjusting to a new way of life, falling in love with the flora and fauna around her. Then strange tokens and symbols start appearing on her small plot of land, and she swears there's something lurking in the woods. But her way of life becomes threatened when her wealthy family seeks to buy and demolish the swamp—and all the living things inside—for urban development.
Relationships: Eccentric Backwoods Woman/Her Bigfoot Lover & Greedy Land Developers, Original Female Character(s)/Original Non-Human Character(s), Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Comments: 15
Kudos: 24
Collections: Multifandom Horror Exchange (2020)





	the roughage shines like a miracle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetcarolanne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetcarolanne/gifts).



> Hello! I had a very fun time fulfilling this prompt! I tried to go for a Southern Gothic vibe, instead of something in the Pacific Northwest. My friend has informed me that this shouldn't be too out of left-field because apparently TAZ did a southern Bigfoot thing? SHRUG. Because it takes place in Florida, our lovely Bigfoot is technically a Skunk Ape. Caveat that I'm a white person, and I know many of these beasts come from indigenous legends; I hope I have been respectful, and I did not try to engage with any of that directly since I picked this up as a pinch-hit and only had a week (and that's not nearly enough time to dig into the research enough to do that respect!). Regardless, we stan cryptids in this house. Just imagine me as that moment in The X-Files where Mulder is like I'VE SEEN IT about the lady Bigfoot and he whips out a rudimentary drawing of a bigfoot, the entire time I wrote this.
> 
> I also wanted to experiment with an epistolary format in this. Most of the narrative is written through Avery's diary entries. I find the epistolary format good for liminal situations and themes of memory and truth, which is great when cryptids are involved. (It's also what the Dracula novel does. Chef kiss.)
> 
> The song "Dear Avery" was a wholeass mood while writing this, even though it has nothing thematically to do with it. Other music vibes are Hozier (duh), Nick Cave, the album Raising Sand by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, bluegrass and hymns, and this playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX58NJL8iVBGW?si=HJ1HNs8AQ6ekOsZaHPuQbQ
> 
> The poem at the beginning is Poppies, by Mary Oliver, and the title is a line from it.
> 
> Also, I only chose the explicit rating because it is clear what the characters are doing during sex, but the language is closer to that of a mature rating.

_The poppies send up their_ _  
_ _orange flares; swaying_ _  
_ _in the wind, their congregations_ _  
_ _are a levitation_

 _of bright dust, of thin_ _  
_ _and lacy leaves._ _  
_ _There isn’t a place_ _  
_ _in this world that doesn’t_

 _sooner or later drown_ _  
_ _in the indigos of darkness,_ _  
_ _but now, for a while,_ _  
_ _the roughage_

 _shines like a miracle_ _  
_ _as it floats above everything_ _  
_ _with its yellow hair._ _  
_ _Of course nothing stops the cold,_

 _black, curved blade_ _  
_ _from hooking forward—_ _  
_ _of course_ _  
_ _loss is the great lesson._

 _But also I say this: that light_ _  
_ _is an invitation_ _  
_ _to happiness,_ _  
_ _and that happiness,_

 _when it’s done right,_ _  
_ _is a kind of holiness,_ _  
_ _palpable and redemptive._ _  
_ _Inside the bright fields,_

 _touched by their rough and spongy gold,_ _  
_ _I am washed and washed_ _  
_ _in the river_ _  
_ _of earthly delight—_

 _and what are you going to do—_ _  
_ _what can you do_  
_about it—_  
_deep, blue night?_

July 21, 1976

Dear Diary,

Whew! Boy was it hot today. I sure do miss electricity. Had to run to town just to go inside somewhere with a fan for a bit. Got a popsicle on my way back. Drove with the windows down listening to Fleetwood Mac. Damn popsicle started to fall apart and almost got on my upholstery. Oh well.

Ran into one of my old girlfriends from school in the grocery store. She looked surprised to see me. I guess people are still uptight about what happened to Bobby. What, did people think I could go out in the swamp by myself off the grid? I wish! Sure would miss popsicles though.

Oh! The baby just kicked. Still just as weird as the first time a few weeks back. Maybe our kiddo will be a runner when it gets older.

Got some great flowers and vegetables going for the market on Saturday. Had to fight a deer away from the tomato plants this morning. Damn pests. Took some of the green ones that got a bit bruised and fried em up on the cast iron. Always was your favorite.

Diary, I just dozed off for a second. I think that’s the sign I need to go to bed. Talk to you tomorrow if the gators don’t get me.

  * Avery



July 24, 1976

Dear Diary,

Made a killing at the farmers market today. That smug bitch Bedelia Coldwater about had a fit when she saw how fast I was selling. Bless her heart. Was able to buy a small generator with the profit. After next week, I think I’ll have enough to get a fan. Then I’ll save up for a freezer. Glad I got our old cooler.

Rained on my way back. Broke the humidity a bit. Thank the lord. Got another popsicle.

Oh, the weirdest thing. When I got home, there was an orange sitting at my door. Don’t know how it got there. Maybe a hiker? Ah well.

Talk to you tomorrow if the gators don’t get me!

  * Avery



August 1, 1976

Dear Diary,

Glory glory Hallelujah! Unseasonal cold front came through and it actually got below 80 today. Damn near danced around naked I felt so good. Decided to take a little hike instead. It sure is pretty out here.

Bobby, remember when we used to take Junior hiking?

I haven’t heard from him since your funeral, Bobby. Said he was living in San Francisco now. I think he said the Castro District? I think I’ll send him a postcard next time I head to town. Tell him about how I saw a tree that had been struck by lightning, like we saw when he was little. Was real quiet though. Didn’t even hear any bugs or birds… Once I got a bit aways, all the sound came rushing back. Reminds me of the stories my pa used to tell me about the swamp. He hated it, made it sound like a crocodile-infested hellscape. I mean, he was right, but it has its charm. I’m getting used to it.

Talk to you tomorrow if the gators don’t get me!

  * Avery



P.S. The gators are actually pretty great I’m learning. Don’t know why people make such a fuss. You leave em alone, and they leave you alone. Don’t go being stupid. Snakes are still tricky.

August 20, 1976

There was a muddy handprint on my door when I got back from my hike. I checked all around inside and nothing was touched. Door was locked, windows all fine. The handprint was fucking huge.

I’m gonna go walking tomorrow to see if I see anything.

  * Avery



August 21, 1976

Nothing. Missed the farmers market for nothing.

  * Avery



August 22, 1976

Nothing again. Wandered for hours, damn near got dehydrated.

  * Avery



August 23, 1976

Dear Diary,

Went to the town library to see if they had maps of the swamp. Said my uncle had been in last week looking. Weird.

At least nothing else spooky’s happened since Friday. Anxiety isn’t good for the baby. Threw up until I couldn’t any more this morning. Hate that part of being pregnant. This one hasn’t been too bad so far. Bobby, wish you were here to rub my back. That’s the worst part: being alone. I like living out here alone, but I do miss companionship. Miss sitting with you reading. I should reread Leaves of Grass soon. Junior and I used to read that together so much when he was in high school.

I got the record player hooked up, playing Fleetwood Mac. Landslide just came on. I think I cried the first time I heard it. Came out right around your birthday. “Time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I’m getting older too.” Tomorrow is my birthday. I can’t believe you won’t be here for it. I’m gonna be older than you. You won’t…you’re not gonna get older, Bobby. I’m always gonna be older than you, now.

Funny how life is.

Talk to you tomorrow if the gators don’t get me

  * Avery



August 24, 1976

Dear Diary,

Happy birthday to me! The big four-one. Not as exciting as turning forty. Went to town and got a whole box of popsicles. Drove on the backroads like the cops were after me. Danced in the living room until I lost my breath. Don’t know if that’s from being pregnant or being old. Glad I’ll never have to do this again.

Went hiking as soon as I woke up. I love the mangroves. Brought some oranges with me for snacks. Wasn’t too hot so my walk was great. Sat under a tree for a bit and read. Leaves of Grass. Made sure I told Junior I started reading it again when I sent him a postcard. Got his birthday card for me, with a picture of the Golden Gate bridge on it. Made my heart swell up big. He said he’s doing okay. A friend moved in with him. I think it might be a guy he’s sweet on. I’m happy for him. I don’t think I ever told you, but my brother was that way. Told me after my folks died. I know he and his fella were happy. I hope Junior’s beau is good to him. I’ll whoop his ass if he isn’t, just as soon as I’m not pregnant.

Anyway, back to my walk. I must have gone off my trail accidentally at one point, because there was an old house weren’t there before. Couldn’t hardly see it for all the kudzu. Cicadas were so loud couldn’t hardly hear anything else. Though I could have swore I saw something moving through the trees, in the corner of my eye. Pretty creepy!

Then! When I got back, there was some sort of figure scratched in the dirt in front of my door. Kind of looked like a woman? I don’t know what the hell is going on, but it ain’t hurting nothing yet I guess.

OH, almost forgot to tell you: got a letter from my uncle in my PO box. His company are wanting to buy the swampland I’m living on. Don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that. I’ll call him up tomorrow. Bastard. Never liked him.

Talk to you tomorrow. Maybe it was a gator what drew the figure. They almost got me this time!

  * Avery



Avery was lost. She’d walked this same little trail most days since moving out to the swamp and didn’t need to leave markers for herself anymore. But she had no idea where she was now. One moment, she was heading near one of the turns of the path, by a gnarled tree, and once she made the turn, everything started looking unfamiliar and dead, slowly, the further she walked. Kudzu climbed up every barren tree. The air was thick and humid, the heat making her dizzy.

When she grabbed her canteen to take a drink, it was empty.

“Shit,” she said, scared and frustrated. It seemed she was out of oranges, too. Had she already snacked on them all?

Dusk started to fall. There was no way she’d make it home before nightfall. She tried not to panic. Panicking would get her nowhere. If she retraced her steps, she thought, that would get her back before the morning. Not ideal, but better than getting more lost than she already was. She turned around and started walking, only to see that nothing in this direction was familiar, either. Her adrenaline was kicking in now, the reality that she was in serious danger settling in.

She was at an impasse: she needed to get back to somewhere familiar as soon as possible, but she also needed to conserve her precious energy, and wandering the swamp for hours without water would do nothing but exhaust her. Avery touched her stomach, taking comfort in the warmth, but already feeling afraid for her baby. She looked up, trying to get a gauge of where the sun was so that she would at least know what direction she was facing, but it had moved below the treeline enough that she couldn’t see it. Around her, it got darker and darker.

“No, nononono,” Avery whined. “HELLO! IS THERE ANYBODY THERE? _PLEASE!”_ She started to walk, still yelling, hoping someone would hear her.

And that’s when she heard footsteps behind her. _Not like this,_ was her only thought. _I’m sorry, Bobby._ She stopped dead in her tracks and clutched her stomach again, tears finally falling. “Whatever you’re gonna do to me,” she began, trembling, but trying to keep her dignity, “make it quick. Make it painless.” She had a machete with her, just in case, but even if she killed whatever was behind her, she was still lost. She would fight back as hard as she could, but she doubted there was a version of this where she came out alive on the other end.

Nothing happened. The footsteps stopped. Nothing touched her. She said nothing, waiting, this anticipation worse than anything before.

“No. No hurt,” a rough voice said. It was deep, resonant, but it didn’t sound like a man. It didn’t really sound like a woman, either, so she had no idea what the fuck it could be. “Want to help. No scare.”

Well, that sure sounded better than the alternative.

Avery turned to face her…rescuer? What she saw in what little light there was, was huge. It had the general silhouette of a human, but it was far too tall, far too broad. And it looked hairy, _very_ hairy.

“Wh—what are you?” Avery stammered, looking up to its face. She remembered that her pa’s stories of the swamp had mentioned giant ape men, who kidnapped lone travelers and ate their flesh. Avery always figured it wasn’t true, because how could it be?

Another pause. “Taga,” the beast said. “Name. Taga. Here, water.” It held out an old canteen, Avery assumed lost by someone and found by this…thing. But, the thing had a name? It knew what a name was?

Avery grabbed the full canteen and smelled the contents, only smelling water and metal. She poured some over her hand, but it felt fine, no sand or mud or grime. “Clean?” she asked, hoping it understood.

“Yes, clean.”

So, Avery took a tentative sip. She stopped, and waited, trying to notice if she felt any adverse reactions. The water tasted so clear, so fresh, as it ran down her throat, and her mouth already watered in want of more. When it was obvious she wasn’t poisoned, she took a few deep gulps, gasping for air when she was done. “Thank you. Taga.”

“What name, you?” Taga asked.

“Avery,” she said. “My name is Avery.”

“A-ver-y,” Taga repeated, sounding out the syllables. “Avery.”

Avery took another drink, and smiled. “Yes.”

Taga said, “Swamp upset. Evil men visit. You not safe.” It grabbed Avery’s hand. Its palm felt like hers, if rougher, but it was large, and there was obvious hair covering the back. “Come with me. Keep you safe. Take you home.”

“Do you know where I live?”

“Yes,” Taga said, and started leading Avery.

Avery was about to ask how the hell Taga knew that, but then it hit her. “Oh, you left me an orange. And drew the figure, didn’t you?”

Taga squeezed her hand. “Yes. Friendly.”

“You want to be my friend?”

“Yes.”

After about an hour, Avery guessed, they finally got back to her shack. Taga walked her to the door, “To make sure nothing hurt you.”

“Thank you, for protecting me.” Avery turned on a lamp so that she could see Taga. The beast was definitely some sort of ape, but it had enough human characteristics to blur the line, especially its face, as well as its obvious sentience. It wasn’t wearing any clothes, and so, Avery also saw that it was actually a _she,_ as there were breasts and no penis. “You’re a woman?”

Taga nodded. “Like you?”

“Yes,” she said. “Will you be safe going home?” Avery didn’t want Taga to get hurt.

“Taga fine. Swamp not upset with me.”

Avery cocked her head. “But it’s upset with me?”

“No, not you. Humans. Bad man, with map and machine.” Taga growled. “Said want to hurt swamp. Swamp not safe for you, now.” She put her hand on Avery’s stomach. “Keep you safe. Protect you, here. Friend.” Avery saw that Taga actually blushed. “Avery nice. Grow flowers.”

That made Avery happy, and she smiled. “You like my flowers?”

“Pretty. Like Avery.”

September 4, 1976

Dear Diary,

When I got home from the market today, Taga was standing in my garden, gathering flowers. I told her it was okay to take a few here and there, since she likes em so much. Seems she finally took me up on the offer. Ran inside to grab some water (and popsicles) for the both of us. Came back out, and she had made a bouquet, and gave it to me. Awfully sweet of her. Bobby, you were the last person to give me bouquets. I wonder what they mean in her culture? She still hasn’t told me much about her people. Maybe they’re pretty solitary. Can’t say I blame em.

Also taught her how to braid hair. Hers is pretty long, and mine is too, out here. But the baby is getting pretty far along now, and I’m at the point where I actually have to ask for help. You know how much I hate that. I don’t know what my plan was, when I first came out here, once I got to this point. Guess I wasn’t thinkin too far ahead. Taga’s a bit of a lucky blessing like that. Braided each other’s hair like schoolgirls. She does it better than you did, Bobby. High bar and she jumped right over it.

I’m starting to feel this lightness around her, Bobby. I know my brother was that way, and our Junior, but…I guess I never figured I was. I probably ain’t. All girls find their friends pretty, right? And my love for you was real. Physically, too, no problem there! Promise you that.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just lonely. Also, she’s not human? Is that allowed?

Watch out, Bobby, I’m becoming a mad swamp woman! Gators better look out for me, now.

  * Avery



September 7, 1976

That son of a bitch uncle of mine! Diary, I’m so mad I could spit. There was a summons, yes, a _summons,_ in my PO box today. I gotta meet with my uncle and his company on Friday to discuss the land. It looks like he’s really gonna buy it. Just the i’s to dot and all that. Bastard. Son of a bitch. I really hate him. Never felt right around him.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I own the small plot I’m on, but he’s wanting to buy the whole area, and he’s way more powerful than I am. I don’t have the money or resources he does.

Fuck.

  * Avery



September 10, 1976

Dear Diary,

Met with uncle today. Nothing I can do. He’s gonna let me stay where I am until it comes time to tear it up. Says I have until the end of November, probably around when the baby’s due. He’s paying me for the land. It was either that, or us go to court. I can’t afford that. So I took the money. Guess I better start looking for places to move. Again. Goddammit.

When I got back, Taga came by like she always does, making sure I got through the swamp to my house safe. Haven’t had too much more trouble since she started doing that. I reckon it’s gonna start acting up again when the construction starts. I wonder what’s gonna happen to Taga and her people.

She asked me how I was and I just broke down. I hate cryin in front of other folks. You know that, Bobby. I think her people are physically affectionate or something like humans. She scooped me up in a strong hug. When I told her all that happened, she just held me tighter, and growled, yes, _growled,_ when I talked about my uncle. Can’t say I blame her. Asshole.

Taga refused to leave my side. She’s literally sleeping on my couch right now. She braided my hair again, prepped me up some oranges, washed and massaged my feet.

Dammit, I’m crying just thinking about it. Everything is just so much. I miss you so goddamn much. Why is this all happening? Why is she so kind and gentle with me?

Avery rubbed the tears off her cheeks with the flat of her palm, angry at herself for letting everything get to her like this. _It’s just the hormones,_ she thought. Surely that’s all it was. But now the tears just wouldn’t stop. She clutched her stomach and started weeping. She looked down and saw that some tears had smudged the ink and dampened the paper of her diary. For some reason, that’s what did it. She threw the diary across the room with a soft, anguished yell, immediately regretting it.

Not two seconds later, Taga was knocking on her door. “Avery?!”

“I’m fine, Taga,” Avery said, trying to just make it all stop. “It’s okay. Just go back to bed.” Her voice hiccuped and broke on the last word.

There was a lengthy pause, then, “Avery, not okay,” Taga said, her voice soft through the door. Avery saw the door crack open, and Taga peeked through. She looked hesitant and concerned.

Avery flopped back on the bed with a groan. “No, Avery not okay.” She heard Taga pad into the room, then she heard her put down something on the nightstand. Avery looked over and saw it was her diary and pen. “Oh,” Avery said in a mixture of a laugh and a sob, “thank you, Taga.”

Taga smiled at her, and then brushed some stray hairs back from Avery’s face. “Stay with you tonight?” Taga asked, soft. “Not alone.”

 _Not alone,_ Avery thought. She smiled up at Taga and then scooted over, throwing the covers back. Wordless. Taga blew the candle out and settled next to her. They said nothing to each other, and Avery fell asleep.

When she woke up, Taga was wrapped around her. Avery closed her eyes and smiled.

November 1, 1976

Dear Diary,

Construction started today. I heard the sounds of trees being cut a few miles away. It’s an awful sound.

Started at dawn this morning. Taga begged me not to leave. Told me it wasn’t safe. Says it won’t be safe for me to come and go. I said I had to go, at least today, to get supplies. She looked so scared as I drove away.

And I quickly understood why. Took me hours to get out, even though it normally takes about 15 minutes until I hit a main road. When I got back, she said it’s because the swamp knows I’m okay, now, but it’s still hurt. Sometimes you can’t help who you hurt when you’re upset.

Tonight, I held her and stroked her hair as she cried and wailed as the swamp screamed around us.

  * Avery



November 9, 1976

Dear Diary,

This is bad. This is real bad. Uncle must be getting closer. Me and Taga have been safe in my place so far, but I noticed kudzu is starting to take my garden. Taga screamed when she saw it. I held her hand. That’s all I could do.

  * Avery



Diary,

I’ve lost track of what day it is. There’s something wrong with…everything. Never feels like the sun goes down, until sometimes it suddenly does. I’ll be cooking in the kitchen for a few minutes in the morning, and then when I step outside to grab something, it’s night.

I can’t sleep anymore. Taga and me just shake and cry when it gets dark. I’m so exhausted.

Oh god, a tree just fell down outside. Uncle said he was gonna warn me. I guess this is it.

Avery put her pen down and stepped outside. Everything was dead. Kudzu completely covered her garden, her little house, the barren trees and skeletons of bushes. It never got cold here in the swamp, but it was hotter and muggier than it had been back in July. Avery couldn’t hear any wildlife at all.

Standing at the edge of her property was her uncle. What little clothing he had left was in tatters.

“Hello, Avery,” he said. His voice didn’t have any echo or reverberation, dead noise, and it had a metallic, mechanical quality to it. Kudzu spilled over his lips as he spoke. “I’m surprised to see you’re still here. Terrible mother, aren’t you,” he sneered, “endangering your unborn child like this. You look like you could pop any second.”

Another tree fell, somewhere behind her. Avery jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, only to realize it was Taga.

“What is that,” he choked on the kudzu for a moment, _“monster_ doing here?” A large machine roared to life somewhere off to the side.

“I only see one monster here,” Avery spat at him, _“uncle.”_

He scoffed. “Yeah, sure, okay. Got any more cliches for me? Your husband dies, and you just go full crazy hippie. I ought to have you committed.” He started to walk to her. “This land is evil, Avery. It ain’t right. Just look around you. Look at _that.”_

Taga growled behind her.

There was an answering roar from the swamp, a cacophony of machines and screams and cicadas.

“See? _See?”_ His humanity fell from him more every second, with each step forward, the kudzu consuming him until he was a writhing mass of it. _“See? We must destroy it.”_ The mass grew larger, exploding out exponentially until Avery couldn’t even see the sky. Then it was engulfing her and Taga, too, and her house, and everything, until the only thing was green. Avery couldn’t even scream with it going down her throat, pulling and biting and clawing and ripping what she could to no avail.

And then, in the tangled green nothingness, Avery saw him in front of her, naked, unhurt. Mad. He almost looked like a god, but for the kudzu where his mouth should be.

_See?_

Before he could say anything else, Avery saw Taga behind him, not understanding how she got there, how she could move or do anything. In the next blink, Taga grabbed his skull and twisted until there was a sickening, wet crunch. She ripped the kudzu from his mouth, biting it and tearing it to pieces. It seemed never ending, the more she pulled the more came.

Until his body wasn’t there anymore. And soon, the kudzu was gone, too. Avery couldn’t tell you exactly how it happened, but at some point, everything was back to normal, like it had all been a nightmare. The next thing she knew, she was in Taga’s arms.

“Avery okay?” Taga asked, trembling, and Avery felt the wetness of tears, both of their tears, on her cheeks.

Avery wrapped her arms around Taga and buried her face in the soft fur of her neck. She nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” She worked one hand between them to rub her own stomach, a breath shuddering out when she felt her baby kick, healthy and full of life. “How did you do that?”

“Swamp protector,” Taga said. “Me. Others. Couldn’t stop him until that happened.” She pulled back. “Avery protector, too.”

When she looked around them, the swamp was teeming with life, the sun dazzling and bright through the green. Avery smiled, joyous. She didn’t understand, but she trusted. And that was enough. She took one of Taga’s hands and started walking. “Show me everything.”

Taga returned her smile and squeezed her hand. They walked through the swamp, otherworldly in its beauty. No matter what they came across—snakes, gators, other critters—Avery wasn’t afraid. Not just because she had Taga with her, but because everything was as it should be.

They walked for hours. Taga knew where the drinkable water was, and what berries and plants were safe to eat. Eventually, they reversed their course to head back. Before they got back, they stopped in a small shaded mossy clearing. It was like out of a fairytale.

The two stood before each other, not saying anything. Avery felt a lot of things in that moment. One of those feelings was peace. Another, contentment. Yet another was happiness. Relief. Another— 

Taga must have sensed the other. She kissed the tips of her own fingers, turned her palm toward Avery and held it out, her look questioning. Avery touched Taga’s fingers, confused, not quite understanding what she was asking.

Taga shook her head. “No,” she said, frustrated. She kissed her fingers again and held them up to Avery’s lips. With hesitation, telegraphing her movements, she touched the fingers to Avery’s lips and pointed at her own with her free hand. “Yes?”

Avery smiled, charmed at her gentle way of asking to kiss her. “Yes,” she said, and stepped into Taga’s warm embrace. She pushed a hand into her thick nest of hair, the other hand resting on the conjunction of Taga’s jaw and neck. Her fur thinned her as it moved to her face, and Avery savored the difference, running the pad of her thumb back and forth over smooth skin and soft hair. Her eyes fell shut as she angled her head up, standing on the balls of her feet so that she could kiss Taga on the cheek. “Kiss,” she breathed. “This is a kiss.” And she dragged her lips over the skin until she could press them to Taga’s.

“Kiss,” Taga said when she pulled away after a moment. Avery felt Taga’s chest softly heave against her, her naked breasts cushioning each breath. Taga grabbed the nape of Avery’s neck, disturbing the fine hair and causing the rest on Avery’s body to stand. She surged down, repeating, “Kiss,” and claimed Avery’s mouth. She tasted like fennel and smelled like the mangroves that shaded them. Heat bloomed within Avery, a warmth she hadn’t felt since the early days of her marriage and even that was nowhere near as strong or intense. Kissing Taga unlocked something within herself, something she had always known, something that always lingered there, hidden amongst the trees.

“Yes,” she sighed when they next parted, a millisecond so they could both breathe before—like magnets—their smiling lips collided again. Taga’s large hands caressed the back of her head and one moved to her rounded belly, acknowledging it before it rested heavily at her hip. She felt grounded, safe, protected.

Finally, she didn’t feel alone.

Avery opened her mouth, allowing Taga whatever entrance she desired, if her people did such a thing while kissing. But when Taga tentatively licked her tongue inside, Avery moaned. Taga twitched, as if startled by the sound, and then Avery felt the deep vibration of Taga’s own response through her entire body, making her gasp. Her reaction must have worried Taga, because she pulled away, brows furrowed in concern.

“Avery okay?” she asked, idly massaging Avery’s waist. “Hurt you?”

“No,” said Avery, joy overflowing, and nuzzled her nose against Taga’s. “No, no hurt. Good. You make me feel good.” She kissed the smile on Taga’s face. “When you kiss me, you make me feel good. Do I make you feel good?” she mumbled against her lips.

Taga sighed, “Yes,” and started to kiss and mouth Avery’s neck. Avery tilt her head back to give Taga more access, what little direct light that made it through the treeline dolloping her face. She looked at the nature above them, the trees and flowers, the snakes and insects, that bared witness to their embrace. Everything felt in accordance, all vibrating on a single frequency. Avery let it all wash over her, filling her body and mind with pure, simple happiness and balance.

“I love you, Taga,” Avery admitted, the confession coming out of her without thought. “Do you understand love?”

“Yes,” Taga said against her skin. “Love,” she demonstrated as she kissed her again. “Love,” she said as she cradled her belly in her palms. “Love,” she said as she placed her hand over Avery’s heart. “Love you,” she said finally, taking Avery’s hand and putting it on her chest; Avery felt the rushing, deep beat of Taga’s heart beneath her furry breast.

She looked into Taga’s eyes and saw the intensity there, the passion. Avery took her free hand and grabbed the hand on her chest, lightly squeezing. Then, keeping eye contact, she moved the hand so that it cupped her breast. “Love,” she said, imparting her desires into the word. “Make love.”

Taga’s eyes fluttered shut, and her pulse quickened under Avery’s touch. “Make love,” she repeated, and squeezed the fullness. Avery moaned, encouraging her.

“Make love _to me,”_ she said, slipping off her dress and undoing her bra until she stood naked before her. “Make love _with me.”_ Taga’s calloused hands set a fire inside her, the friction against her skin like a match against its box.

And then they were kissing again, hands everywhere, slowly and lazily exploring each other. When Taga, shy, dropped a hand to barely touch the nest of Avery’s pubic hair, she asked, “Mate with you?”

“Yes,” Avery answered, moving her own fingers into the warmth of Taga’s sex. She moaned _Yes_ again when Taga pushed through her slick folds, and she moaned _Yes_ once more when Taga laid her down onto the soft mossy ground. Their joining was impossibly gentle; Taga, who could rip a tree from its roots, touched Avery with a delicate carefulness. She suckled her nipples, emptying them of so much milk that Avery wept in relief and pleasure, clutching handfuls of fur. Taga kissed her, and she tasted sweet and clear. She worked down her body, kissing and rubbing and touching. Avery ran her hands through Taga’s warm fur, its texture soft and damp as it trailed against her skin.

Avery parted her legs for Taga’s hand, inviting her, offering whatever Taga wanted to take. Taga massaged her, and asked, “Kiss you here?” Avery nodded and put her head back onto the ground, soft laughter and moans bubbling out of her mouth. The entire time, Taga rested the hand that wasn’t thrusting in and out of her on her stomach. She moved slowly, letting Avery feel the intensity of every touch and lick, her nerves lighting up like fireflies on a summer night. The first time she came, she lost the ability to hear and her breath caught as the pleasure rocked through her like the tide, cresting and ebbing, and never receding as Taga kept going, and going, and going, keeping Avery at this gentle peak until tears fell freely from the corners of her unfocused eyes.

“Please, Taga,” Avery keened, “I need—” her plea cut short when Taga’s touch grew rougher, harder, quicker, making her quiver and gush and cry out. “I want to make love to you now, too.” At least, that’s what she thought she said, her mind so blank she floated. “I want to make you feel good.”

Taga approached her, not sure what to do. Avery’s stomach made it hard to position themselves, but eventually Taga chose to kneel behind Avery’s head and lean over her, letting her heavy breasts hang down into Avery’s waiting mouth. She hugged Avery’s pregnant belly when she moved forward, straddling Avery’s face. Taga kissed the taut skin, clutched her rough fingers over the white lines of her stretch marks, kissing as she whined. She grinded against Avery’s mouth, tensing her thighs with every rock of her hips. Avery breathed deeply through her nose, smelling the musk and sex and wetness trapped in the coarser hair. Taga squeaked when she came, twitching and clenching. Avery let her catch her breath before continuing, and Taga leaned forward and worked Avery with her hands again.

Avery had never been particularly religious, but the beautiful way the swamp enveloped their lovemaking, the chorus of birdsong and cicadas that erupted with them as they continuously, simultaneously, climaxed again and again and again, filled her with what she guessed might be similar awe and faith.

Later, after they had made it back to Avery’s small house, they made love again in the cottoned softness of Avery’s bed. They cooled their bodies with fresh water, the humidity mingling with the dampness and sweat of their shared pleasure.

And then we fed each other oranges, sucking the juice from our fingers and lips, sharing our comfortable, intelligible silence. I don’t know when Taga will learn more English, but so far, we seem to understand each other just fine.

Diary, I don’t know what I did to deserve her. My Bobby had been good to me, but he never made me feel like Taga does. Bobby made love _to_ me, but Taga makes love _with_ me. I can tell now that wasn’t no fault of his. My love for her…it feels so natural and easy. Despite her being whatever she is, we fit together, and nothing feels wrong about it. I ain’t sure I believe in soulmates or anything like that, but I don’t reckon she’s leaving my side anytime soon.

I loved Bobby. That love never went away, I still feel it, especially when our littlun kicks. I hope it looks like him. I miss your eyes, Bobby. I miss the way they crinkled up when you smiled. You were always embarrassed about your wrinkles, but I thought they made you even more handsome. Maybe I’ll have a little boy, and he’ll grow to be as handsome and kind as his daddy. I wish you were here to meet and raise our baby with me. It breaks my heart it’ll never know you.

Before she fell asleep, Taga rubbed my belly with jelly like you used to do. I think maybe she’ll be a good mother. I feel like I can rest easy, now that I have her with me.

You would have liked her Bobby. I know you would.

  * Avery




End file.
